Trying to Cool Off

Max asked Dave to help him make some origami. Dave had been in the middle of his own paper folding—he was reading the newspaper—so he told Max he would be able to help him in thirty minutes. Considered a reasonable response by most, but not Max, who quickly got bent out of shape.

It’s hard to describe the screaming/moaning/grunting that often results when Max doesn’t get his way. But I’ll say this—it’s not pretty.

Unable to wait the half an hour, Max came to me, not asking for help, but demanding it.

“Max, I will help you, but not when you’re screaming,” I told him. “When you can calm down, I’ll help.”

“I AM CALM,” he bellowed back.

Max continued to carry on, hitting me, yelling and calling me names. I continued to remain calm. (NOTE: Don’t be too impressed. Sometimes I yell back.)

“Max, this isn’t working. You’re not getting what you want this way. You need to stop screaming,” I said. “The whole neighborhood can hear you.”

“No they can’t,” he countered. “The windows are closed.”

“Max,” I said, “the windows are open.”

Still not believing me, Max walked over to the window. Discovering that it was in fact open, he closed it. That was his solution to our problem of his out-of-control screaming-—to close the windows so the neighbors wouldn’t hear.

The muffled sound that followed? That was Max trying to get me to stop laughing.